Last Sunday, standing in the shower, I
quit writing. I gave up. I decided I wasn't going to do this any
more.
Again.
Apparently, I do this with great
regularity. When I told my RWA chapter of my decision,
my fellow Muse, Barb Wallace, said, “If you read our blog, you know
Katy quits every week.”
Like all those other times, the quit
didn't take. I figured out a way to get myself out the pickle I'd
landed myself in, and on I went.
However, in the moment of discovering
my solution, I found another problem, one that I thought my chapter
sisters could help me with. So I asked, and was helped.
The one thing I got out of it is that I
think too much. I have a strong analytical side, one so determined
that it kicks in even when I need to just roll with it. I keep
thinking myself to a standstill; I think myself into my pickles, and
then I can't think my way out.
This is disheartening and boring. I get
really tired of the same old problems. They're not very interesting,
plus I can't help wondering why I don't learn. I mean, if I'd learned
anything, I wouldn't make the same mistake, right?
Sadly, it's not that simple for any of
us. Like many flaws, this one is the dark side of a gift. I think my
analytical side helps me develop my stories and build my worlds. I
think it helps me learn, since it's the part of my mind that finds
holes in things and then needs to find out how to fill them.
And it's not as if I'd have no problems
if I didn't have this one. I'd have others, instead. And they might
be harder to manage. They might actually prevent me writing
altogether, instead of making it an adventure.
I just wish I could stop quitting.
5 comments:
Awe Katy - you missed the rest of my joke. The point was writing is like golf. My father quit golf every Sunday for 47 years. We say we are quitting all the time but deep down we never will.
Hi Katy, I can never think of it as quitting as long as somewhere in your mind you are thinking about getting back up on the horse. You can let yourself rest, give yourself a break, but somewhere deep down I bet there is that safe, trusted piece of you that always know you'll come back to it. I think that's why we give ourselves permission to quit - somehow we know, in the long run, it just won't stick.
Hi, Katy! I'd say let's trade problems, but I think we have the same ones; I'm an analytical person, too. Fun, isn't it? :)
Katy, Believe me, I think myself into a corner about EVERYTHING. Most days I wish I could just turn off my brain. You are far too smart, creative and all around fantastic to ever quit the thing you love. Shake it off. Let it go. Keep on writing and see what happens... remember, the crazier, the better!!!!!!!! (hugs)
I'm sorry I missed the joke in retelling this--I did hear it at the meeting, but went off on the thing that caught my internal eye.
What I'm doing right to try to plot out my story is writing the emotional arc of each scene. I'm writing what happens in first person present tense, using at least one of my POV characters to narrate. In a scene with two POV characters, I might bounce between the two.
I'm hoping this will keep me out of my usual trap, which is come up with Stuff Happening that doesn't actually make emotional or character sense. The details of the stuff that happens will come later--it's the emotional journey that counts.
We'll see how this works...
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