Katy's Musing: Plan for 2012

At one point or another, somewhere on the internet, I said that I don't make New Year's Resolutions. The way I see it, if I want to do it, I can make that choice at any point. I don't have to wait for the new year to roll around. At the same time, there's something to be said for making plans, for articulating intentions, and doing it at the turn of the year gives an easy-to-remember milestone. A year from now, I won't have to remember when I made my commitment to do X.

I took the end of my vacation time in the week before Christmas. I'm doing much better on the workout front, and my intention was to go to the gym while I was on vacation. Sadly, I didn't meet that commitment -- life, she intrudes from time to time -- and I struggled with guilt over it. Finally, I reached the point of being tired of the guilt. At the end of the week, I realized my chance to work out was done. There was no way to change the fact that I hadn't made it to the gym. I thought, "It's disappointing, but it's done, so move on."

As soon as I thought that, something inside eased. Contemplating my reaction, I realized that I can apply that thought every time I feel guilty, because the things I feel guilty about are the things I can't change. Yes, I'm disappointed not to have done X but I can't change that, so move on.

I also realized that part of what makes me feel guilty are my relentless standards. I've talked before about how I always expect my absolute best at every moment -- not the best I have to offer at that moment, but the absolute best, the best of my very best moments. When I write it down, I see how ridiculous that is, and I thought how ridiculous it is as I was considering how to leave guilt at the door. I thought, "Relax your standards."

Relax my standards, relax my tight shoulders... As soon as I thought of that in relation to the things I'd been harassing myself about -- about not writing enough, not eating well enough, not wanting to do planks -- I felt a surge of energy. All the things that seemed so monumental shrank in size, and writing, working out, eating properly and attempting minute-long planks seemed possible.

I should have expected that. Recent studies have shown that beating yourself up to get stuff done is counterproductive. If you want to motivate yourself, be kind and supportive. I should also have known from experience. Years ago, I would declare o myself that a given day was a "goof off day"...and then I would get more done than most other days. It took me years to realize it was because I'd relaxed. I was no longer spending energy on anxiety and fear

I will have to remind myself to relax. I will have to remind myself to move on. But I have a plan now, and I'm feeling good about 2012. I wish the same for you.