Becca's Musing - New Year Pep Talk

I'm not really thinking in terms of resolutions for this New Year, but more about fine tuning my behaviors, attitudes, and outlook to effect the kinds of changes I want to bring about in different aspects of my life. My confidence has sustained a few hard blows over time, and instead of wringing out the wisdom I may have gleaned from these experiences I have somehow let the damaging niggles of doubt creep into the cracks where the knowledge should have taken root. That doubt has been the most harmful and tenacious kind of weed, and the result has been 100% counter-productive to my growth and progress.

This is especially true in my writing life, which to my rational self sounds ridiculous. I have been kicking around this business for nine years and I know I have learned a ton about the craft and business of writing but because I have so much more to learn and I have not achieved the success I had set for myself, I feel like I am lacking that certain credential that would justify me as a learned person on the subject. I don't mind admitting that I may not know everything there is to know, but I don't want to put myself out there and be exposed as a fraud, either. And that scary possibility is what adds to the dent in my confidence and helps hold me back.

But what I have learned over the past year is that there are a ton of people in this business who know less than I do and are putting themselves out there all the time . . . and I am not sure that's good. I sit back and watch some of the goings on and am reminded of the saying, sometimes a little bit of knowledge is a bad thing . . .

I could teach a class on how to find an agent but I wouldn't dare because I haven't landed one myself. I could teach a class on how to pitch your book but I won't do that either because I haven't sold one. And so on. I am coming to terms with my feelings about this - for my comfort level, I believe there are certain qualifications that make people in this business more legitimate than others, but just because I don't yet have those qualifications shouldn't dent my confidence the way it does. All writers are learning and growing all the time so I take solace in knowing that even the best authors are constantly evolving. I think it's about the comfort you find in your own knowledge and experience, and I fully acknowledge that what's comfortable for me won't work for other people. Realizing this fact is helping with my quest to retool my behaviors, attitudes, and outlook and to focus more on what I can do to build that confidence and less on what other people are doing about theirs.

Seize the day!

Becca